Navigating Parenting in the Tween & Teen Years with Tess Connolly, LCSW
Interview by Heather Anderson
Parenting tweens and teens is no small feat; Tess knows this firsthand. As a parent and family coach with a background in clinical social work for over 20 years, she’s helped countless families shift from daily battles over screen time and chores to fostering deeper, more meaningful connections. But what makes Tess stand out isn’t just her expertise—it’s her ability to weave her childhood experiences into her work, making her coaching relatable and deeply impactful, and her background in mental health. This unique combination has provided families with an experienced parent coach who can also guide them around their particular child’s development and focus on their child’s mental health.
What was your childhood like, and how has it shaped your approach to parenting?
I grew up in a remote part of New Hampshire on a 10-acre property, living off the land with my parents and four siblings. My parents, seeking to escape the influences of a large extended family, embraced a free-range parenting approach that emphasized independence and self-sufficiency. That sense of independence was valuable, and I also saw the importance of connection and cooperation, and where more structure in our lives could have helped. Now, I help families find that balance. Tess is writing a book about the influences of growing up wild in New Hampshire and how those experiences have informed her parenting approach today. Interested? Read the short book teaser here: Tess' Book Summary
What’s at the core of your coaching philosophy?
Connection is everything. The relationship parents have with their child is the foundation for everything else. Want kids to pick up their stuff? Want more cooperation? Want teens off their phones? It all starts with connection and relationship.
Rather than relying on quick-fix discipline tactics, I help parents shift their approach by prioritizing emotional connection over control. One small but powerful change is reframing chores as “family cares.” No one wants to do chores, but when kids see it as contributing to the family—as something that makes them matter—it changes how they engage.
This philosophy comes from my childhood, growing up deep in the woods of New Hampshire. My parents uprooted our family from the Boston suburbs and built a life from scratch—no running water, no electricity, just 10 acres of land, and a lot of intention. Cooperation wasn’t optional; it was how we survived. We had family meetings often—from stacking firewood to maintaining our dirt road to how we got along with each other.. That experience shaped how I coach families today: when kids feel like active participants in family life, they develop responsibility, resilience, and a strong sense of belonging.
In my coaching, I help parents create an intentional family life by defining what truly matters to them. Do you prioritize kindness? A strong work ethic? Academics? Follow-through? Parenting with intention means setting clear values—not just big-picture ideals but also daily rhythms like screen time, mealtimes, and family expectations. These small, consistent choices create a home life that reflects your values.
At the heart of it all, I take a Guide and Coach Approach to parenting. My parents weren’t authoritarian; they guided and coached us—whether it was about school, chores, or how we treated each other. That’s the foundation I bring to my work with families today. Instead of demanding obedience, I help parents focus on fostering open communication, encouraging independence, and navigating conflict in a way that strengthens the parent-child bond.
Because ultimately, it’s the relationship you build with your child over the years that matters most. That’s what they will take with them into the world.
“Parenting isn’t about getting it perfect. It’s about connection and the relationship you have with your child. Focus on that, and everything else becomes easier.”
Screen time battles are a major challenge for parents. What’s your approach?
One of the biggest struggles parents bring to me is managing screen time and technology. Instead of constant fights over devices, I encourage families to co-create agreements with their kids. My approach begins with cooperation and mutuality with your tween or teen, giving them a say in how they manage their screentime. Having control over how they use their device moves them towards being more thoughtful about what they are doing online and developing their values around their online life. One parent I worked with was hiding devices all over the house, but the real solution isn’t playing a game of hide-and-seek—it’s setting clear expectations, a cooperative approach and following through.
My Tech Reset Agreement provides a structured, step-by-step way for families to set boundaries around devices while keeping open communication and developing their family’s digital values. And when parents (or kids) inevitably slip up? It’s okay. Just reset. Parenting is about practice, not perfection.
How can families work with you?
I offer several ways for parents to get support, whether they’re looking for one-on-one coaching, group connection, or ongoing parenting insights.
1:1 Parent Reset Coaching – My private coaching is tailored for parents who want to create a calmer, more connected family dynamic. I work directly with parents, and when families are open to it, I bring tweens and teens into the process to strengthen communication and collaboration.
The Conscious Moms Collective – This is my membership-based support circle for mothers of tweens and teens. I created it as a space where moms can gain parenting strategies, focus on personal growth, and find support from others navigating the same stage of parenting. We meet both online and in person, providing a mix of guidance, connection, and real-life parenting tools.
The Parenting Reset Show – My podcast is a free resource packed with expert insights, relatable stories, and actionable strategies for parenting during the tween and teen years. It’s where I share the tools and mindset shifts that help families thrive.
Whether you’re looking for personalized coaching, a supportive community, or practical advice to reset your parenting approach, there’s a path for you.
What’s one last piece of advice you’d give to parents?
Parenting isn’t about getting it perfect. It’s about connection and the relationship you have with your child. Focus on that, and everything else becomes easier.
Connect with Tess Connolly on LinkedIn, Instagram or Facebook.
You can also find her on The M List, The Mamahood’s searchable database of mom-recommended resources, or connect and collaborate with her inside of The Club membership for women founders.