Making Social Emotional Learning “Stick” with Elizabeth Sautter
Written by Heather Anderson
Elizabeth A. Sautter, Speech and Language Pathologist and SEL Educator.
With your extensive experience in speech and language pathology, what are the most common challenges families face with social and emotional learning (SEL) in children?
Diving into the world of social and emotional learning (SEL) with families, we're talking about all kinds of stuff here – like figuring out how to manage big feelings, understanding what's going on inside, and even just getting started on tasks, which is all part of a concept called executive functioning. Kids show their struggles in so many different ways. Some might "porcupine," you know, where they sort of spike out with big emotions, and others might do what I call "turtling," pulling in and shutting the world out, maybe even slamming a door or two when they're really not feeling it. This all circles back to how they're handling their feelings and how we can help them get better at it.
Then there's the whole social side of things, which is super important too. Some kids - and even adults - find it tricky to pick up on those little hints people drop without saying anything outright, those ‘social cues’. Think about figuring out when it's time to line up at school or knowing that dinner isn't over just because you're done eating. Some folks need a bit more help to get a handle on this stuff.
And being great in school or smart in that traditional sense doesn’t always mean these things come easy. You can have a kid who's academically advanced but finding this whole SEL thing a tough nut to crack.
Like my own child! You’re speaking my language. Going back to your initial work in schools supporting learners with communication delays and behavioral challenges, I’m sure those experiences must have shaped your approach significantly. Could you share how?
Absolutely. Starting right out of college, in the early '90s, when we were still figuring out a lot about autism, I was completely drawn into this world. I had a client in college who had autism, and that just opened my eyes. I knew I wanted to keep working in this field, so I found myself at schools designed for kids who were really struggling in regular settings. These were places for kids who, back in the day, might have been left out or even institutionalized because of their challenging behaviors. Imagine schools where folks walk around with walkie-talkies for backup when a kid's behavior becomes too much, like needing help in room nine because a kid got upset and things got physical.
In these places, because communication was our area of expertise, we speech therapists became the go-to problem solvers. We were there to figure out what a kid was trying to tell us by acting out or why they might suddenly throw a book across the room—yeah, I've had to dodge a flying printer before! It was all about seeing behavior as a kid's way of trying to say something, maybe that they needed a break, were hungry, or just needed some space.
This was where I really learned the ropes, understanding that if we could get better at communicating, we could help manage some of those tough moments before they escalated. Working closely with behavior consultants, occupational therapists, and psychologists, we were all about turning those challenging behaviors around by boosting our communication game.
The world of speech pathology and social-emotional learning has been my passion ever since!
"Making it stick" is a compelling concept - and the theme of your parenting program. Can you elaborate on what you mean by that in your work, and its importance in child development?
You know, making SEL stick is really about slipping those big ideas into our everyday flow without making it feel like homework or formal “lesson time”. We’re sneaking in lessons on managing emotions and getting along with others while just hanging out, doing life. Maybe it’s during a car ride, while setting the table, or even when we're figuring out who gets to pick the movie on family night.
Could you provide a practical example of how parents can support SEL during everyday activities, like driving in the car?
Yes! When you're behind the wheel with a captive audience, you've got a pop-up classroom for social and emotional learning (SEL). Playing "I Spy" isn't just for kicks; it's a stealthy way to boost those inferencing skills, making your child a little detective of the world zooming by.
You might turn passing observations into a guessing game: “I wonder where that woman is headed?” or “Do you think the man crossing the street knows the person next to him?”
Chatting about what's coming up in the day is a sneaky exercise in executive functioning. While you're both casually mapping out a strategy for tackling the day, the conversation is teaching them to think ahead and organize their thoughts without a formal sit-down lesson vibe.
Quiet moments on the road are also perfect for a mini-mindfulness session. A few deep breaths and a chat about how you're both feeling, can go a long way in teaching emotional regulation. It's a chance to turn the volume down on the world and tune into each other.
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As children grow, especially into their middle school and high school years, how do these SEL challenges evolve, and what impact do they have?
As kids hit those rollercoaster years of middle school and high school, we're really talking about a whole different ball game. This is the time when figuring out your strengths, interests and who you are turns into a full-time job and when those SEL skills really need to kick in. The social scene gets trickier, and the academic pressures ramp up. It's no longer just about who's sharing toys; it's about navigating real relationships, facing down pressures, both in and out of school, and making those big, sometimes scary, choices that start to define who they're becoming.
We're not just aiming to get these kids through the day; we're helping them build the kind of self-awareness, empathy, and problem-solving skills that will carry them through life.
Any advice for parents of middle schoolers struggling with executive functioning, such as homework management?
For parents of middle schoolers wrestling with keeping up with homework and staying organized, it's key to dial in a system that clicks for them. A planner can be a game-changer. It's more than jotting down assignments; it’s about breaking down tasks into bite-sized pieces, prioritizing what's up next, and carving out time for both hitting the books and down time to relax and recharge.
Getting kids involved in setting up this system not only helps them get their heads around their workload but also plants the seeds of ownership and independence.
You've recently made significant adjustments to your very popular "Whole Body Listening" book series. Can you explain the motivation behind these changes?
Absolutely. When we first published, our “Whole Body Listening” concept really focused on what teachers wanted to see in their classrooms, and was aiming to achieve conformity rather than celebrating and including individual learning styles. Receiving this feedback from the neurodivergent community was eye-opening and led us to rethink and reshape our materials to better honor everyone's unique ways of engaging and processing information.
Now, our revamped resources are about embracing the diversity of neurodivergent experiences, making our approach as flexible and respectful as possible to the varied ways kids learn and interact with the world.
What can parents expect from your book, "Make Social and Emotional Learning Stick"?
Our book is like your secret weapon for weaving those big SEL lessons into the fabric of everyday life without making it feel like a chore. Think of it as your toolkit for moments big and small, helping your kids grow their emotional smarts, social skills, and problem-solving abilities in ways that feel natural and engaging.
It's crafted to be incredibly accessible, offering a wealth of activities that are both meaningful and manageable. Whether you have just a few minutes to spare or a whole afternoon, you’ll find ways to turn ordinary moments into opportunities for learning and connection. It’s all about making the journey of growing up a bit smoother, one fun, engaging activity at a time.
Besides your book, what other resources do you recommend for parents eager to support their children's SEL journey?
Our website is your go-to spot, jam-packed with all sorts of goodies to help you dive into SEL with your kids. You'll find a mix of everything—free materials to try out, articles for those deep dives into what SEL really means, and even a mini-course to get you grounded in the basics. It's designed to be super user-friendly, so you can grab what you need and get going.
Plus, there's this great community space where you can meet other parents who are on the same journey. It's a fantastic place to share stories, exchange tips, and get inspired by what others are doing. We're all about building a supportive network, making sure you're never flying solo on this adventure. Whether you're looking for a quick activity to fill a quiet moment or seeking deeper insights into nurturing your child's emotional and social growth, our website has you covered.
For parents considering your "Make It Stick Parenting" course, what unique benefits does it offer?
Our "Make It Stick Parenting" course is like your personal SEL guide, breaking down the journey into manageable steps and wrapping it in support and expert advice. It's not about drowning you in information but guiding you through with clear, actionable strategies and the chance to learn from a community of parents just like you.
What really makes this course shine is the blend of peer interaction and expert insights, all geared towards giving you the tools and confidence to support your child's social and emotional growth. It’s all about turning the challenge of navigating SEL into a shared adventure, offering you practical ways to bring these skills into your daily life and the backing of a community that understands exactly what you're going through.
If parents want to take immediate steps to support their children, where should they start on your platform?
Blog and Newsletter:
Our blog dives deeper into SEL topics, offering richer, more detailed insights, and by signing up for our newsletter, you’ll stay in the loop with all the latest strategies, tips, and resources we’re cooking up.
Empower Listening and Learning:
We’ve currently got our hit live workshop, The Empower Listening and Learning Workshop, that I recently taught with the incredible Sarah Ward, available as a replay here
Make It Stick Parenting:
The Make It Stick Parenting bundle with the course and bonuses (reg $964) is currently on sale for just $197! (Save $767!) It’s a bundle of all of our key products, a DIY course through our eight modules, and includes quarterly group coaching calls with me, (Elizabeth Sautter).
Connect with Elizabeth Sautter on Instagram or Facebook
You can also find her on The M List, The Mamahood’s searchable database of mom-recommended resources, or connect and collaborate with Elizabeth of The Club for women Founders.