Meet Attorney Patricia De Fonte of Estate Planning with Heart
Transitioning from the dynamic field of entertainment law to estate planning, Patricia De Fonte has carved a niche in addressing the intricate and varied needs of families and individuals. Her practice is distinguished by its focus on unique situations, including LGBTQ+ dynamics, unmarried couples, green card holders, people on the verge or in the middle of a divorce, and entertainers and artists.
Patricia De Fonte of Estate Planning With Heart
In her interview with Heather Anderson, Patricia shares how her personal experiences shaped her empathetic approach to estate planning. She emphasizes not just the legal aspects, but the deeply personal decisions that affect her clients' legacies. Join us as we uncover Patricia De Fonte's expertise in navigating the complexities of estate planning for diverse clientele, blending legal proficiency with a deep understanding of human relationships.
Heather Anderson: Patricia, you've dedicated your career to 'Estate Planning with Heart'. Can you walk us through your personal journey and what inspired you to specialize in this niche of law?
Patricia De Fonte: I was originally an entertainment lawyer, which was incredibly fun. However, I stepped back from that career to focus on motherhood, as the demanding hours didn't align with my parenting goals. During my nine-year hiatus, several tragic events within my close circle illuminated the profound impact of inadequate estate planning, not only on immediate family but also on the wider family network. One situation involved a family member whose husband had a severe motorcycle accident, creating a deep divide over healthcare choices. Another was a friend's mother who, after her husband's unexpected death, faced a financial crisis due to undisclosed debts, leading to a distressing sale of their assets.
Around this time, a friend practicing Estate Planning shared her positive experiences in the field, and I realized I could use my legal expertise to help prevent such tragedies from happening to others. Although my initial motivation was pretty dark, the work has evolved into something extraordinarily rewarding. It's no longer solely about averting disasters; it's also about fostering uplifting, humorous, and deeply human interactions. When you’re aiding people in discussing their final wishes, including matters like faith practices in funerals, it’s immensely gratifying.
HA: I can imagine! What a deep dive into the most human of experiences. Beyond just financial assets, you’re delving into deeply personal decisions about health, children, and legacies. How do you guide your clients through this often emotional process?
PDF: Estate planning is about taking time to really know each family, each client. In our first ‘lawyers learning meeting’, we spend about two hours asking dozens of questions about how clients spend their time, what kind of stuff they have, where their children go to school, their hobbies, and we delve into their family dynamics. We discuss everything — from pets to potential issues like alcoholism.. It's about understanding who gets what and who's in charge, and it's not just about the stuff. Sometimes it's about the sentiment behind certain assets or how they want their legacies to be handled. That can involve preferred cultural or religious practices or causes in which they believe. We also focus on helping our clients build a good support system, connecting them with insurance brokers, financial advisors and CPAs. This ensures they're not just legally prepared but also financially and emotionally supported. Our approach is about making sure no one has to face challenges alone and that there's always a knowledgeable team to help.
“Our approach is about making sure no one has to face challenges alone and that there’s always a knowledgeable team to help.”
HA: Your firm emphasizes the revocable trust as the core of every estate plan. Why is this component so crucial, and how does it benefit your clients in the long run?
PDF: A revocable trust is essential because, without it, your assets typically go through probate, a public and time-consuming court process. With a trust, however, you bypass this chaos - which is especially important if you own real estate, and will typically save tens of thousands of dollars for your beneficiaries. A common misconception is that people don’t feel ‘wealthy enough’ to worry about probate - but even just one real estate asset can make it worth it. We have a simple calculator on our site so people can check what their own probate risks are. The trust also ensures privacy, which is crucial for protecting your beneficiaries from being vulnerable to ‘bad actors’ once your estate details become public.
Moreover, a trust offers control over how your assets are distributed. It's not about just handing over money; it’s about managing it responsibly, especially for minor children. Without a trust, a judge might lock away funds until a child turns 18, or make decisions that don’t align with your wishes.
For many clients, especially single parents or those with limited savings, their main asset is often a life insurance policy. In the event of their passing, this policy becomes the lifeline for their children. A revocable trust ensures that these funds are used judiciously for the children's upbringing and education, rather than being handed over when they're not ready for such financial responsibility.
HA: So important! You emphasize the importance of a strong attorney-client relationship based on trust and openness. What qualities should clients look for in an estate planning attorney? And how do you foster that trust in your own practice?
PDF: Choosing the right estate planning attorney is critical. If you don’t work with us, it's essential to work with a lawyer who dedicates their practice solely to estate planning, not as a sideline. Also be wary of those charging significantly below market rates, as they often focus on document production rather than comprehensive planning and may lack important follow-up. Estate planning is ideally a life-long relationship.
HA: What would you say is the ballpark ‘market rate’ for a family’s estate planning needs?
PDF: In the Bay Area, a range of five to seven thousand dollars is standard. Rates below this can be a red flag about the quality of service. Technology is another vital consideration. Ensure your attorney uses HIPAA-compliant software for handling sensitive information and relies on specialized legal software to draft your documents, particularly if they're not part of a large firm.
Other considerations regarding compatibility are things like:
do you prefer technical, jargon-heavy communication,
or a slower, more emotionally attuned approach?
Do you prefer in-person meetings or are you comfortable with Zoom?
Fundamentally, does the attorney truly understand your unique family’s nuanced needs and desires.
HA: On that note, estate planning seems to intersect with various life situations, from parenting to marital status. How do the needs of, say, unmarried couples differ from those of divorcing individuals in the realm of estate planning?
PDF: Estate planning for unmarried couples is very different from that for married or divorcing individuals. In California - contrary to popular belief, there is no recognition of common law marriage, meaning no matter how long a couple has been together, they have no legal right to each other’s assets. This lack of legal rights extends to the event of a breakup, where division of assets can become complex.
It’s especially imperative for unmarried couples to engage in estate planning, because unlike for married couples, there’s not even the most basic legal protection in place. For example, if one partner dies, the surviving partner might be left with nothing. An unfortunate example of this phenomenon I witnessed recently was of a woman who, after her fiancé's sudden death, lost her own home to his family.
HA: I know you’ve mentioned that Green Card holders also face unique challenges in estate planning. Can you shed light on some of these?
PDF: Yes, absolutely. We find that there can be unexpected challenges navigating the differences in legal and cultural contexts. Unlike some countries with forced inheritance laws, the US allows more freedom in bequeathing assets, but also poses complex tax situations, especially for mixed-nationality couples. For example, if a US citizen leaves their estate to a green card-holding spouse, federal estate taxes apply to amounts above a statutory limit. This contrasts sharply with the tax-free inheritance between US citizen spouses.
Mitigating unwanted tax impacts requires planning, including the creation of specific sub-trusts within the revocable trust. And the statutory limits are set by Congress and subject to change, adding another layer of complexity.
Additionally, for green card holders nominating guardians living overseas for their children, we have to plan for various scenarios, like the logistics and costs associated with the guardians coming to the US or the child moving abroad.
HA: Speaking of children, I never thought of children actually needing their own planning! But I know you created The Young Adult Package on your site to address this often-overlooked age group. What led you to offer this specific package, and why is it so important for young adults to start thinking about estate planning early?
PDF: The idea for the Young Adult Package emerged during a visit with my best friend from college. I realized her college-aged daughter who was embarking on a high-risk climbing expedition didn't have a health care directive, and this was something my friend - who’s generally super prepared - hadn't even considered. This lack of awareness among parents of young adults about the necessity of such legal documents led me to spreading awareness and developing this custom package.
It's crucial for young adults, especially those who are 18 and older, to have a basic estate plan in place. This is because once they are legal adults, their parents can no longer automatically access their medical information or make decisions on their behalf. Without the proper documents, parents may face significant challenges in emergency situations, such as not being able to obtain information from a hospital if their child ends up in the ER. With a lot of young adults living far away - or out of state at college, etc., this can present significant issues.
HA: I know that the LGBTQ+ community also has its own unique set of concerns and challenges. How has your practice evolved to address these specific needs, especially given the ever-evolving legal landscape?
PDF: Thank you for asking this - as I see such a gap in information on the internet around this community’s needs. Our practice has evolved to specifically cater to the unique needs of the LGBTQ+ community in estate planning. Aspects of that include that all documents, such as Advanced Health Care Directives, include clear language regarding pronouns, gender identification, and a requirement for LGBT+ friendly medical care. Our trusts use gender-neutral language to accommodate all identities. Our guardianship nomination forms specifically address issues of gender identity for minor children.
We often work with non-traditional families, such as couples who have provided genetic material to others, creating unique parent-child relationships. It's crucial to plan for these scenarios to ensure that children who may not be legally recognized are provided for.
For clients who are transitioning, we include detailed medical information in their planning documents to prevent any medical contra-indications during their transition. This is part of our commitment to addressing the holistic health needs of our clients.
Additionally, we are acutely aware of the challenges faced by the older LGBT+ generation, particularly the issue of re-closeting in elder care. We discuss these concerns with all clients, ensuring their estate plans include specific instructions to prevent re-closeting and advocate for their needs in any care setting. We also ask our clients to be champions for their older LGBT+ family members in this regard.
HA: Could you explain that further? I’ve never thought about this but see where you’re going. Re-closeting in elder care, meaning in the case of dementia or sudden disability, that the family member may be placed in non-LGBTQ+-friendly care homes where their identity isn’t adequately accepted and they have to go back ‘under cover’, so to speak?
PDF: Yes, exactly. It’s awful and an unfortunately common issue.
Furthermore, for families with minor children who are transitioning, we emphasize the inclusion of mental health as a crucial aspect of their overall health care in our estate planning. This includes specific instructions in trusts and guardianship nominations to ensure that any caregiver understands and respects the family's values, especially regarding the child's transition process.
HA: Wow, so important - and yet, something families might not think far enough ahead to consider! On a different note, I know technology has drastically changed the estate planning process. How do you utilize technology in your practice?
PDF: We leverage technology so that we have more time to spend with our clients, and to streamline our law firm's operations, ensuring accuracy and efficiency. We do not use technology to force the clients to do our work for us, which is becoming common - having clients fill in online forms that dump into software that spits out cookie cutter documents.
For us, technology includes utilizing HIPAA-compliant file sharing software and the best drafting software available. During the pandemic, we transitioned to using Zoom for all our meetings, which clients appreciate for its convenience, allowing them to attend meetings comfortably from their homes. We also offer online notarization, which most clients prefer over having a stranger come to their house.
HA: As laws and society evolve, how do you envision the future of estate planning? And what advice would you give someone who's on the fence about starting their estate planning process?
PDF: As time goes on, I anticipate that estate planning will become more expensive, especially in California where real estate prices heavily influence probate costs. The rising costs of insurance and technology for lawyers also contribute to this. Delaying estate planning will only lead to higher expenses down the line. I caution against relying on AI for legal matters, as it lacks the nuanced understanding and ethical considerations that a good lawyer provides. Looking ahead, I foresee a surge in trust and estate litigation, primarily due to poorly drafted documents from online services.
HA: Patricia, for our readers who are now recognizing the importance of estate planning and are interested in taking the next step, how can they best get started with De Fonte Law PC - Estate Planning with Heart? I understand you offer free informational workshops and initial phone consultations. Can you tell us more about these resources and where our listeners can access them?
PDF: For those looking to start their estate planning journey, the best way to learn about our firm and services is through our website, estateplanningwithheart.com.
We offer a free probate calculator where you can estimate the minimum probate fees based on the fair market value of your house, highlighting the financial implications of not having a revocable trust.
Our site lists our free workshops and enables scheduling a free 20-minute discovery call with either myself or my senior associate, ensuring that a lawyer handles every intake. We believe in providing direct, expert consultation right from the start.
If you’re looking to find out more about protecting your family:
Join The Mamahood for a free Estate Planning 101 Workshop on Dec 5, 2023!